The day is finally here. Some of you may have been waiting for this day for 2 months, but we’ve been waiting for it for 3 years. It’s been a good wait… A healthy wait… To prepare to do something bigger than us… To provide a product that doesn’t suck, that carries meaning into a world of irrelevancies… To fight the influence of artificiality, and restore culture as much as we can to a generation that leaves it at the gate.
We don’t have false dreams of changing the world, but what we do have is a pledge to make an impact on our customers, our followers, our… zombies. After all, we are all zombies infected with the influence of popular society, reality television, constant satellite social interaction. We have no ambition to cure you… We have a drive to feed you what you need and crave–the flesh of substance, knowledge, and culture…
What you can expect from us is unfiltered life with no propaganda. In fact, we encourage you to vote with your wallet. Our job is to make an impact on you whether you be the purchaser, the reader, the doubter, or the evangelist. The objective is not to usurp your pocketbooks, but rather address a longing in your heart for raw life. We are confident that we can meet this goal, and provide you with superior products, service, and entertainment.
We thank all of you that have followed us since day one on social media, and believed in us before we were even a brand. We also want to thank those of you that took a chance in visiting our website. We will prove to all of you that a business does not have to eat its young to survive, and that customer service, ethics, and good business are not dead. We are the blacksmiths of the popular culture street movement, and we are here to claim our stake in an endless and overwhelming frontier. We hope you enjoy what you find here.
What next? The first step is to visit the “Our Story” page, and learn a little bit more about who we are. Then, check out our wares. The first 50 orders will be recorded as “founding zombies,” which will receive undisclosed rewards and novelties in the future on anniversaries of our launch.
We encourage you to participate with us as we launch, and send any questions, comments, or concerns to our team: email@example.com. We will also be on Skype, discussing the brand with whoever cares to learn more than what meets the eye. If you’re interested, send a message to us at: this.is.morty